A Change of Course
Dear Boss (a.k.a. Coach Suzy),
While I was feeling great at lunch and was under the delusion that I would make it through this shit show with my beautiful hair intact, as fate would have it, things have taken a drastic turn. I woke up yesterday with literal clumps of hair coming out in the shower. I was walking through the parking lot of Target with clumps blowing off my head in the wind like a plastic bag floating in the air. As you know it takes a lot to disturb me. I can walk over dead bodies eating a bagel (Naperville cops don’t eat donuts) without blinking an eye but the sight of my beautiful hair literally falling out brought me to my knees. I knew it would be the one thing that would really make the gravity of this real.
Fast forward four hours at work and Into my office walks one of my very best friends/coworker Erin, carrying a cardboard box. She knew my hair was falling out because my bigmouth best friend Vanessa (Julie’s Cousin) told her. We just can’t seem to keep secrets from one another. Erin hands me the box and I open it. It was a blown up version of my IMWI finish line photo with Joe and Steve holding me up while Laura is smiling proudly in the background. It takes a Village right? Let the ugly cry begin again.
After a sleepless night I got up to drink my tasteless coffee since I have round 2 of 16 of chemo today. While drinking the coffee I stare at the photo. It then dawns on me that while I sadly withdrew from Ironman Wisconsin (IMWI) 2020, I was still training for an Ironman. Life signed me up for IMBC (Ironman Breast Cancer) and just failed to tell me until last month.
This is my new perspective. I am still training for an Ironman. I did not withdraw I just transferred to a different more local race. I am going to go through a very emotional and physical training process yet again. Fortunately, I’ve been through tough training before. I got this! I can do it. It will be the same, yet different. It will be like climbing Barlow times one f**ing hundred and I will survive. I may even get off and walk at times and that is ok. Yes.
I know we spoke at lunch about letting ET people know about my current situation because they are or have been asking. We are a family and it takes a village after all. I was thinking I could put a message out maybe in the Wednesday Roundup if appropriate.
Maybe even this email could be the message. Like a race report. What do you think?
I love you so much. Thank you for your ongoing love and support.